onsdag 23 april 2008

Stulet från Monas Fun-Wall

För ett tag sedan registrerade jag mig på Face-book. Jag har fortfarande inte fattat det roliga med detta. Idag hade jag blivit funnen av en gammal klasskamrat. Kul!? Vi var inte vänner då och vet inte riktigt poängen med att ha lagt till honom på min vän-lista.

Flest vänner på sin lista vinner? Då är jag nog slagen för länge sedan. Riktiga vänner har man hemnumret till. Det är väl skillnaden?

Men väl inne på Facebook hittade jag detta på vännen Monas Fun Wall och tyckte att det var kul. Kanske gammalt, men varje chans att få skratta måste tas tillvara. Ett gott skratt förlänger livet.

(förresten - gör inte det där Vuxenpoängstestet på Facebook! Man blir bara deppad!)

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

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